The Benefits of Growing Older
(and you thought there weren't any)  ;-)

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

No one expects you to run into a burning building.
ERROR ZONE DO NOT TOUCH IT WITH MOUSE
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

Things you buy now won't wear out.

You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
This is an error zone

You can eat dinner at 4:00.

You can't remember the last time you laid on the

floor to watch television.

You can live without sex, but not without your glasses.

You consider coffee one of the

 most important things in life.

You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
 
This Is another Error Zone

You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

You got cable for the weather channel.

You have a party and the neighbors

don't even realize it.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in,

no matter who walks into the room.

You send money to PBS.

You sing along with the elevator music.

You talk about "good grass" and you're

referring to someone's lawn.

Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

Your back goes out more than you do.

Your ears are hairier than your head.

Your eyes won't get much worse.

Your investment in health insurance

is finally beginning to pay off.

Your secrets are safe with your friends

because they can't remember them either.

Your supply of brain cells is finally

 down to a manageable size.

And the above balls do not all flash,
so you are not seeing things.

You may have who thinks
of you often and send you lists like this!

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Have a blessed day!

Updated 2-13-04

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