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Kids In CHURCH


     A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon
dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,
"Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us
go?" 

Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother
what he had learned in Sunday School. 
"Well, Mom, our teacher told how God sent Moses behind enemy lines 
on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.  
When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge, 
and all the people walked across safely.  
He used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters and call in an air strike.  
They sent in bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were
saved.  
"Now, Joey, is that REALLY what your teacher taught you?" his mother
asked.  
"Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, 
you'd never believe it!"


     A father took his 5-year-old son to several baseball games
where "The Star-Spangled Banner" was sung before
the start of each game.  Then, the father and son
attended a church on a Sunday shortly before
Independence Day.  The congregation sang
"The Star-Spangled Banner", and after everyone sat down,
the little boy suddenly yelled out, "PLAY BALL!!!" 


          

     

     A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer
at a church service:  "And forgive us our trash passes,
as we forgive those who passed trash against us." 



      


     A Sunday School teacher challenged her
children to take some time on Sunday afternoon
to write a letter to God.  They were
to bring their letter back the
following Sunday.  One little boy wrote,
"Dear God.  We had a good time at church today. 
Wish you could have been there."


A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. 
"How do you know what to say?" he asked. 
"Why, God tells me." 
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?" 

     
     One summer evening, during a violent thunderstorm,
a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.
  She was about to turn off the light,
when he asked, with a tremor in his voice,
"Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
  The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. 
"I can't, dear," she said.  "I have to sleep with your Daddy."
A long silence was broken, at last, by his shaky little voice: 
"The big sissy." 

     
     A mother took her three-year-old daughter
to church for the first time.  The church
lights were lowered, and then the choir
came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. 
All was quiet, until the little one started to sing in a loud voice,
 "Happy birthday to you, 
      happy birthday to you..."

    

 


     
     A child came back from Sunday School, and told his mother
that he had learned a new song about a
cross-eyed bear named Gladly.  It took his mother
a while before she realized that the hymn was really "Gladly the Cross I'd
Bear".

     

     Finding one of her students making faces at
others on the playground, Ms. Smith
stopped to gently reprove the child. 
Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said,
"Bobby, when I was a child, I was told
that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze
and I would stay like that."  Bobby looked up into her face
and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith,
you can't say you weren't warned!" 

       

     A little boy was attending his first wedding. 
After the service, his cousin asked him,
"How many women can a man marry?" 
"Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he knew
the answer so quickly.  "How do you know that?" 
"Easy," the little boy said.  "All you have to do is
add it up, like the Bishop said:  
 4 better, 4 worse, 
 4 richer, 4 poorer." 

     

After a church service on Sunday morning, 
a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, 
"Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up." 
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?" 
"Well," said the little boy, 
"I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, 
and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, 
than to sit and listen." 




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